“and what you have heard from me in the presence of many witnesses entrust to faithful men who will be able to teach others also.” (2Tim 2:2)

Maybe the simplest distinction is that a Christian mentor is someone who offers a parental role in caring for another; the relationship features a personal bond and offers time and creative thought out of a heartfelt devotion to the welfare of the man (in our case) being cared for.

An ironman, on the other hand, can be relationally disinterested (e.g. my football coaches, many of my university/seminary professors, my Army DI, and even some pastors) but they still have important benefits to offer and they became resources in my own personal growth.

But in making the distinction I’m not trying to affirm or promote disengaged relationships. Quite the opposite. In Cor Deo we seek to offer mentoring in the context of John 13:35 (…”love one another”), while also inviting the men towards more growth than they may have thought possible.

My insight for this blog, is narrower and more functional: that when I wittingly place myself in demanding settings where iron is available it usually leads to growth.

Why do that? Because sharpening is a gift. If the ironman who sharpens me is a Christian who loves me, then I have a wonderful benefit. But I won’t stop looking for places to be sharpened just because the person on the other end of the relationship may be hard to be around (as Ed could be at times). So some of my hall-of-fame men weren’t true mentors. But they had much to offer and I would take advantage even in the face of personal, social, and even spiritual discomforts (when, for instance, I had unbelieving teachers in university).

My concern is that too many men today are missing opportunities to grow; and that, in turn, limits what they can offer others.

So thanks for pressing the point. I hope there’s sense in my distinction. I’m encouraged, too, to hear that you’ve taken the mantle of mentoring on your own shoulders. I’ll keep my eyes on your blog to see if you carry that side of the conversation forward.

As I commented you may have noticed my response wasn’t fully aligned with the conversation you & Jason are having. I should say more about that.

I know how important a mentor, especially a parent, is to our growing into successful adulthood. My own father, for instance, still provides insights for me (though he died 26 years ago) about how to live in a late-career stage of life; or in how to transition gracefully from one career to another. I only need to think back to him and the way he lived.

Art Branson was another wonderful mentor whose role as my youth pastor and friend during high school was a treasure (he’s listed above, of course). So he offered both mentoring and some ironman moments.

In this blog, then, I was thinking more about people and circumstances that pushed me well beyond my comfort zone. My football coaches, for instance, weren’t so much mentors as demanding figures who helped me be more effective as a player (and as a young man who conquered some fears). And Sam didn’t have enough time in my life (about 6 weeks) to be a mentor but he was an eye-opening presence to me.

So this blog was more about finding settings and people where we’re certain to be challenged in good ways. It might be a caring mentor who does it, but not always. After I was drafted, for instance, my Army drill instructor was an ironman in my life but not really a friend!

So maybe it’s time for a blog on the need all men have for father-figures in life. And for ironmen. We need to approach God by asking him to meet our needs in both realms. And to give us wisdom in offering the same benefits to others.

As Ron says, ironman opportunities are there if we look for them. I think however that many young Christians do not understand the value and therefore most will not look. Many with potential to mentor are therefore not asked, and do not grab hold of the gift and responsibility that comes with this activity.

There is a serious problem in the church around understanding the heart of God and real relationship with Him (I rarely saw any reality of this growing up…just plenty of religion!), so much that it does not surprise me that I have found it difficult to identify men that I’d actually be able to learn from. Part of this is clearly my problem- pride, naivety, time management…but I think it demonstrates some issues within the body also.

I for one will take every opportunity to pour into the lives of others, to actually listen and provide counsel (not just doctrinal and behavioural advice!). I have come a long way in the past year or two and I am so thankful to the individuals (authors/friends/bloggers/thinkers) that have tread the path with me.

Ron, I love what you are doing at Cor Deo. I think there is a lot of ignorance about how important this kind of mentorship and growth is. Blessings to you both!

But to go to Jason’s reflections, and your response to him, I realize that my all-too-brief blog (by necessity) leaves out a few hidden assumptions. E.g. I was open to jumping into some challenging settings, by God’s grace, and somehow had a sense that the benefits that come from pressure/challenges is worth the pain. And that ‘ironman’ growth opportunities abound if we look for them. In a real sense that’s what we’re trying to offer at Cor Deo: i.e. a huge growth opportunity but also a high bar to get in (such as finding a way to be unemployed for almost 6 months simply to get a non-certificated opportunity to grow in Christ & his Word).